"Call me Ishmael."
"But that's not your name, Harry" said Hermione.
"Nevertheless, I think that's an appropriate name considering that we're going on a fishing expedition" replied Harry.
"Have a whale of a time," added Neville, who was not going to attend the expedition. He was the only one who knew that all of Ishmael's co-travellers had succumbed to Moby Dick. Well, given the modern need for political correctness, one would have to refer to the novel as Moby Richard.
Hermione was not very keen to join the fishing expedition but Ron somehow convinced her. They hitched a Rolls Royce aircraft engine to Kon Tiki the balsa wood raft and sailed in the sunset in the enchanted lake.
The trio managed to avoid perusal and persual by the giant squid and finally reached the area of the enchanted lake out of the 12 nautical miles territorial limits and exclusive economic zone claimed by Hogwarts. They took out the checklists for
- Dolphin-safe fishing
- Pollution under control
- Mercury level checking
- Sustainable fishing
and ticked all of the above with a green pen they had borrowed from Mr Arthur and Mr Anderson.
Away from the prying eyes of the non-existent onlookers, Harry then proceeded to write bulk mails to all the Gryffindor class to get their email addresses, social security numbers, credit card details and what not. He explained to the incredulous Ron, "I had meant a phishing expedition and not a fishing expidition" and continued serenely in his journey, quest and , appearing sublime and ridiculous at the same time.
Among all the recipients of the bulk email, Neville alone responded foolishly giving his details. Harry quickly withdrew loads of money from the ATM of Gringotts and managed to make a fortune. He never had to write a syndicated column in the near future.
